Okay.

I have now realized that I have drifted away from where I wanted to be originally. I have abandoned many of my beliefs to the pressures of the world and what it expects of me.  I guess this thought will be based on physicality and its rising issue within my life.

I'm pressured to emit the masculinity that is expected of me physically and mentally.
I force myself to go to the gym, at first for my health, but now fulfilling the V of my name.
For the sake of Vanity.

 I get it, both females and males succumb to the pressures of physical standards of 'society'.
But to be blunt, the personality and the inside beauty can be sometime utter bullshit.

In my perceptions attraction is first initiated by physicality, by the sense of smell, sight and hearing.

I do not like to think of myself as being shallow, but I know i am not the only one who thinks this. Personally my standards are always compared to the Brazilian or European looking physiques.

As a male I should be in the eyes of the world: Tall, muscly ( pecs, abs, triceps), broad shoulders, chiseled jaw and the list goes on.

I am also at fault, enforcing the pressures on women. I compare to tall long legged, slim( not skinny/ but healthy), reasonably sized breasts, long haired (brunette or blonde), red rosy lips, dough eyes with long eye lashes with soft and glowing complexion.
 
Yes I know. It is sad. Once these dimensions are surpassed then the inner beauty is discovered or somewhat ventured into. As I say here and there: "you can only stare at someone for so long".

Im starting to venture off into many dimensions but yes. okay. hot people can die in a hole, yet wonder in my thoughts and day dreams. 

I want to eat McDonalds right now, yet go to the gym and have a protein shake.

I guess its important to have insight to this because I have an argument to pick with the following: infatuation, liking, attraction, labels, casual relationships and many other things that lead onto that stupid word love. But that's for another day i guess.

till next time