I Talk to myself and project my thoughts in a loud manner, that in circumstances should not even be allowed. I seek out carnal desires that so much I seek I know is a sin. driven by lust. Ive replaces that L word with the other 4 lettered "L word".
My assessments are doing my head in, I am actually excelling in my HR major of my degree... although the french part not so much. For me travel overseas I have to 'pass' my international studies subjects. My language subject have some what been difficult. In other words I am failing. I got an email from the passive aggressive co coordinator.
Though with good intentions did not fail to demean me and allow myself to feel somewhat inadequate and resurface those emotions of failure misdirection and some what all right feeling of shit.
I will say it. I would like to think of myself as an over achiever in fairness. Although I understand that results must be met and that in some sense I have to put work into it. But seriously. I know I am not the only one, but I am so fucking over it.
I am burnt out. I can keep going, but again I won't. I have french tomorrow so hopefully that goes well...
I just need a good 3 months away somewhere else, where no one knows me, I don't know them.
But then again that's why I'm doing this right. To go away and take a break for a 'year'.
anyway till next time.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
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